Long Distance Relationship

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How romantic it is: send love messages, feel the connection through kilometers, wake up in the morning and first of all check if you’ve got the message from such a distant but at the same time so close person.

Photo by: Tony Lam Hoang

All this gives us positive emotions, so necessary for a happy life. But there is a big hidden rock in this kind of relationship, and it is in the very essence of the relationship: it’s not a real relationship, it’s just its surrogate, especially if it started on the Internet and the beloved two have never met in real life.

It is very easy to fall in love within a network: as it is virtually impossible to really know a person in this way, the brain complements his or her image with all kinds of non-existent qualities – the case when a rich imagination can play a nasty trick. As a result, we don’t fall in love with the person who is sitting on the other side of the screen but with the image we have invented ourselves. In this case the meeting, if it does take place, can bring tons of disappointment. Having met a loved one, you inevitably come across the realization that he or she is not ideal, but an ordinary person, just like all of us, with his or her shortcomings and hung-ups. And we have to get on with them or fight against them, that is, make efforts, just like in the case with real people. (“Ah, but it was so good when it was not necessary to invite her to the restaurant and spend money on a bouquet of flowers! I could just send a smiley – and she was already happy!”).

The situation is slightly different if two persons already knew each other before separation, before they were forced to support such relations. In this case, lovers know why they have to endure separation and wait faithfully. It may serve as test, thanks to which love will burst with renewed vigor, when two fully realize how they miss each other. However, if separation drags on for a long time, then this can be very dangerous, because in order to maintain healthy relations, a common reality is needed… that is, common activities, general life experience and regular live communication. Otherwise, by the time they meet again, their personality may change so much that they wouldn’t recognize each other and would learn, perhaps, that now they are as like as chalk and cheese.

Photo by: Jeremy Perkins

In general, I believe that long distance relationship is possible only if there is a prospect of a real meeting, and quite soon. The longer this expectation is delayed, the more we are deceived about the partner, relying either on our imagination or on our own memories. I’m not talking about the fact that there are no guarantees that the partner keeps being faithful. In that respect, everything depends on our trust and confidence

This was my personal opinion about relationships at a distance. Perhaps many do not agree with me, they say, but what about romance, how important the platonic feelings are! Please, express your opinion in the comments. Yes, I do not rule out that some people can manage to overcome the distance and carry their love through it, no matter what. The love story of each one of us is unique. After all, hope is the last to die

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