I heard somewhere that love is 90% of suffering and mental anguish and only 10% of happiness and euphoria, but these 10% are so strong that people persist in falling in love. Life experience demonstrates that love and relationships are not the same things.

Love may be different: forbidden, sacrificial, unrequited or mutual… This feeling lives in us regardless of whether we have a relationship or not. On the contrary, relationships require mutual efforts and sometimes very difficult work. Why do so many couples split up? There is many factors, and one of the most important of them is the pride. Too proud to start a conversation after a blow-up, too proud look caring. It is much easier to decide that your partner is the guilty one and suffer alone.

It is easy to build a relationship at its first stage when everything somehow works by itself. Partners are yet emotionally independent from each other. This happens because at the very beginning we all demonstrate (consciously or not) our positive qualities, But each of us has flaws. And at the same time there is pride. When the pride and flaws of both partners come into conflict, a dangerous period for relations starts, which allows us to understand: are we ready to put up with the partner’s shortcomings, or do they exceed all boundaries?

The pride of some people is so important that they would defend their point of view even if they know themselves that they are wrongt. And I think that this is an extreme point, because it makes fail even generally perspective relations. Below, I gave some tips to prevent it from happening.

  • Be able to listen to your partner: it seems to you that he or she talks nonsense, and you are so firmly established in this opinion that you are persistently defending your position, and do not even listen to him or her. But it is possible that his or her words have much more sense than you think. Just try to look at this from the other perspective.

    Photo by: Aki Tolentino
  • Explain the reasons: “This should be so, because I said so, and my opinion is the only correct one!” – one of the most horrible phrases for relations. If you do not agree with the partner, explain why you think your decision is more correct. In the event that even for you it will be difficult to argue your decisions, maybe you should consider its expediency?
  • Admit your mistakes. I know this is not easy – it’s also hard for me to say “I was wrong”. But believe me, if this is true, the partner will be grateful to you for making this difficult step. And the next time he or she will do the same for you. And it’s so worth it.

Have you ever met a couple in which both partners have a bunch of flaws, but still manage to get along? I have seen lots of them! Their main trump card is they can, when it is necessary, step over their pride.

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