Self-confidence is not something that we learn at school, though the success of many cases in life depends on this quality. It is reflected in our endeavors, our affairs, as well as in our relations with people. The lack of self-confidence deprive us from many joys of life.
Self-confidence is defined by our own subject estimation of ourselves: our looks, knowledge and skills, etc. We feel even more confident when reality confirms our qualities and skills: either by situations in life or by other people. However, sometimes we just don’t see these confirmations and can’t adequately estimate ourselves.
There are many situations when people don’t really have a needed quality but they look so confident that employer hire them… instead of other, maybe more qualified people.
In this article I will tell you how to be more self-confident.
Accept the lack of self-confidence and… live with it. I mean, every time you have doubts, just do what you have to do. Take the hesitation as a normal body reaction, like hiccups, for example. It is not very comfortable but not more than that. The less you pay attention to your doubts, the less they will have their effect on you. Perhaps they will soon disappear completely.
Try to be less perfectionist. If you lack of self-confidence, I’m almost sure you’re a perfectionist. It is not a bad quality in itself but sometimes it stops us from starting new projects because we’re not sure if it’s going to work perfectly. However, no project is perfect in the beginning, and making mistakes is a part of developing. Just start it, and do it as you can, if you work on it and if you invest yourself, you will not fail. Or you will, but it is not that bad either.
Perfectionism may also affect our relations with people. Just because we esteem that we are not fit our idea of the perfect, we believe that we are not good enough for this or that person. Forget it, you’re beautiful, especially with that smile 🙂
Doubts are in your head. They are just emotions, and they have nothing to do with the reality. If you think you’d fail, it doesn’t mean you will. Anyway, hesitation and confidence are two sides of the same coin, so if you start to do something new, it is normal to doubt about it today and to be totally sure tomorrow. It doesn’t mean that you need to ignore completely your doubts: their presence may be a good motivation to improve what you do. The most important thing is the real effort you make to succeed.
- Remember moments or situations when you felt confident and try to restore this feeling. Use that method every time you have too much doubts, and the more you use it, the more there will be moments to stock in your mind as success stories 😉
- And finally, remember that other people don’t really care. In your life, you will certainly meet those who will tell you that you will not succeed. I don’t even know why they do it, maybe they do it unconsciously, maybe they are jealous or maybe it is in human nature to criticise others… Anyway, the most of the time, they don’t really care about your projects or your looks. The people‘s heads are too busy thinking about themselves, just like yours. Don’t you think that all people around you are self-confident and you are the victim among them, do you? You don’t. And you’re right. There is more self-doubting people than confident ones. So why do you believe others when they say that you’d fail? Are they clairvoyant or oracles? I don’t think so. The most of them, unfortunately, didn’t dare to do something brave and strong, and (maybe unconsciously) they want you to fail. That’s why it is only up to you to decide, whether you dare or not…